Diary Of A Woman Child

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When someone offers to split an Uber with me. 

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When I don’t really have enough money to go out.  

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When I go on a spontaneous road trip and don’t tell anyone. 

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When my mom sends me a $50 check because she’s worried about me. 

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When my friend tells me it’s time to leave the bar. 

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When someone tells me about the “excitement” of redecorating their kitchen.

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When I’m watching “Inside Amy Schumer.” 

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When another one of my friends procreates. 

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When my Tinder date pays for dinner.

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Every wedding I attend. 

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When my tax return comes in. 

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Every phone call I have with my parents.

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Every time my student loan payments are due. 

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