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My grandma takes her wig off when she’s drunk. 

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Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.

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Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed unde

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Why are you eating a Kalteen bar? They make you gain weight like crazy. 

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There’s nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. 

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Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary

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She doesn’t even go here!

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Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.

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There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stu

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Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pus

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Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?

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“So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your secon

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I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And

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On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

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One time she punched me in the face… it was awesome.

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He’s a life ruiner. He ruins people’s lives.

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Too gay to function? That’s only okay when I say it!

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I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m so

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