Elsie Schrotthaufen's Book of Wonders

Elsie Schrotthaufen's Book of Wonders

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Hello! A veritable scrapheap of wonders, near wonders, non wonders, and other wonderfulness. Hello!    
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Yvonne encounters her sister-in-law’s new wallpaper. Yvonne encounters her sister-in-law’s new wallpaper. DMCA
Their “destination wedding” was held at an Ikea in Belgium. Their “destination wedding” was held at an Ikea in Belgium. DMCA
“That’s not the end of the world, Sid. That’s Jersey City.” “That’s not the end of the world, Sid. That’s Jersey City.” DMCA
“Listen, Doris. You’d better take those knitting needles away... “Listen, Doris. You’d better take those knitting needles away... DMCA
“Professor Sturgis! Is that you?” “Professor Sturgis! Is that you?” DMCA
“What do you mean it’s not a parrot? It’s molting for... “What do you mean it’s not a parrot? It’s molting for... DMCA
“And I also must remember every time I eat turkey to say, ‘Hey!... “And I also must remember every time I eat turkey to say, ‘Hey!... DMCA
“Hey! It doesn’t say anything in here about metronomes! Not a... “Hey! It doesn’t say anything in here about metronomes! Not a... DMCA
“So long, Mr. Salad! It’s back to the rabbit cage for you!” “So long, Mr. Salad! It’s back to the rabbit cage for you!” DMCA
Exquisite fashions for the modern migraineur. Exquisite fashions for the modern migraineur. DMCA
Televisions and Viagra not included. Televisions and Viagra not included. DMCA
“I thought I made my feelings about heavily upholstered... “I thought I made my feelings about heavily upholstered... DMCA
Linda spent hour after hour trying to figure out how she ended... Linda spent hour after hour trying to figure out how she ended... DMCA
“Now where did I leave that hand grenade….” “Now where did I leave that hand grenade….” DMCA
“Well, there had better be a Dunkin Donuts with a clean... “Well, there had better be a Dunkin Donuts with a clean... DMCA
It is not widely known that Liz Tayor held the world record for... It is not widely known that Liz Tayor held the world record for... DMCA
Eaten by her own sweater. Eaten by her own sweater. DMCA
Everyone knew it was just a matter of time…. Everyone knew it was just a matter of time…. DMCA
Good old-fashioned worm pie! Good old-fashioned worm pie! DMCA
“Well, if it’s good enough for Rover!” “Well, if it’s good enough for Rover!” DMCA
Then promptly peed on the new carpet. Then promptly peed on the new carpet. DMCA
Janet tried to impress the nuns with a few towel folding tricks. Janet tried to impress the nuns with a few towel folding tricks. DMCA
Whiskey good enough to make you pass out on your dog. Whiskey good enough to make you pass out on your dog. DMCA
“Oh, do get up, Charles!  No one wants to hear about your... “Oh, do get up, Charles!  No one wants to hear about your... DMCA
Suzy discovers the truly vindictive nature of root vegetables. Suzy discovers the truly vindictive nature of root vegetables. DMCA
Katharine Hepburn’s fallen and  she can’t get up! Katharine Hepburn’s fallen and  she can’t get up! DMCA
“This is my chicken.  There are others like it, but this one is... “This is my chicken.  There are others like it, but this one is... DMCA
Warren must learn to close the windows at night when he is... Warren must learn to close the windows at night when he is... DMCA
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